One can take a bullet to the freaking eyeball without er.. batting an eyelid, and is man enough to walk away. And then smash up your truck with telephone poles because he's a dick.
The other is a man we deserve or need or something. The one we hunt because he can take it. Unless he hurts his knee and spends 8 years sulking about it.
So how can you put these two prizefighters in the blue and black corners and expect a decent fight?
The decades of comic and movie history offer us a few ways, but it all depends on...
Which Batman are we talking about, exactly?
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| Some days you can't get rid of a bomb. Other days you spend millions making one. |
The word is now that we're getting a mature Batman, one with experience up to his underpant nipples. So he'll have the credentials, but he'll still be a human like you and Stephen Hawking. How does he pwn a guy who can smash skyscrapers like a four year old with a Lego tantrum?
Some suggestions..
Green K: the obvious equalizer.
No, I'm not talking about Potassium. Don't be a smart arse. Kryptonite has been around to bring Supey down to our level since 1940. Simply whack on a little lime-coloured bling, and you have nerdy Clark Kent facing down the greatest martial artist on the planet. Then who would you put your money on?
So how does Bruce get his hands on some of this stuff? You don't just walk into a store and buy
Well in the comics, Clark just gives it to him.
They steered away from Kryptonite in the first movie, but then they had other Kryptonians to play with. So assuming that Warner Brothers haven't been scared off green rings, we may see these two get up to a little ring-punching.
Wait, that didn't sound right. Moving on to...
Zod's armour.
I pointed out in an earlier post that Zod made a point of stripping off his armour and leaving it behind in Man of Steel, so he could fight Kal-El in his space unitard. At the time I thought Lex might be picking it up, given his history of wearing alien armour. But let's take another look at it:
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| Why yes Mr Wayne, it DOES come in black. |
Other Alien Technology.
There are a few thousand bits of Fortress of Solitude sprinkled around Metropolis right now, and someone with the resources of Bruce or Lex could make them pewpewpew once more. Plus now that we've dealt with the whole first contact "You are not alone, and we write in english" thing and got it out of the way, we can bring in other races to add more punch to the Bat-Arsenal.
Turning Superman's powers against him.
- Superman can hear a gnat fart half a continent away. Hell, in the Silver Age he could hear all the freaking universe.
- The US Army has real sonic weapons.
- Nolan's Batman has used sonic technology.
Put those together, and you have Supes being taken down by some loud-assed NANANANANANA.
DC Current (Ha! See what I did there?)
Man of Steel 2: Superman vs Batman Or The Other Way Around was announced to the world by quoting Frank Miller's landmark comic The Dark Knight Returns. In that comic, Bruce kicks Superman's ass by (spoilers!) a gauntlet of conventional missiles, a Hulkbusterised version of the Batmobile, sonics, synthetic Kryptonite, good old fashioned face stomping... and the entire electricity supply of Gotham City.
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| And these days, 20% is GREEN energy! |
But if it's sourced from solar... okay, I'm overthinking this.
Because he's the freaking Batman.
We all know what Batman's most potent weapon is:
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| No wait, this isn't it. |
That all sounds great in comics, where you can get inside a character's head. In a purely visual medium spitting out products for a mass market, however, this will probably be reduced to him saying "Exactly" before something explodes.
Oh yeah, and he's not afraid to fight dirty too. Once the powers come down, I'm expecting a big black boot in some big blue balls. Should have kept the underpants on, Clark.
Image attributions
http://www.comicbookmovie.com
http://www.actionfigurepics.com
http://www.comicvine.com
http://batman.wikia.com
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